Thursday, November 15, 2012

Black Friday insanity

Black Friday, the busiest shopping day of the holiday season, follows Thanksgiving and is possibly a day for the commercially insane. Shoppers dedicated to getting the lowest price on their desired product form lines around buildings at the earliest hours of the morning (or the latest hours of the night) to beat the crowd and ensure that their wallet takes a smaller hit than it normally would.
    Many chain stores such as Walmart, Best Buy, and Target (to name a few) steal the show and typically have the greatest deals of the night/morning. People show up in droves, forming lines at the doors hours before they even open. And this brings to question, is it even worth it? This typically depends on the person. Some find Black Friday to be exhilarating, giving them somewhat of an adrenaline rush as they push through crowds and fight for the products they want. Some would rather stay home, deciding instead that the ensuing insanity is simply not worth it. Or, maybe instead, they take to the internet which holds some great days on the holiday of full-fledged consumerism.
Due to my wide range of experience with all things Black Friday, I have developed a slew of strategies in order to get the item you are standing in line for hours to get. Others will tell you differently, but they’re all wrong. So don’t listen to them. This is what you do:
First, you have to apply everything into this self-created equation H=P/100x2. H stands for the amount of hours you should show up to the store before it opens. P stands for price. By dividing the price by 100 and multiplying it by 2, you come up with the amount of hours before you should arrive. For instance, perhaps you are going for a $200 item. You divide $200 by 100 and then multiply it by 2, making the amount of hours you should show up early 4. Of course, this method is not completely safe due to the amount of stock a certain store might have, but it should work approximately 80% of the time (made up statistic).
Next, it’s important to always bring a friend. Friends allow you to not become bored, stay awake, escape from the line for a few minutes if you have an emergency, and also make it easier to socialize with the people around you so that you can have allies. Yes, allies; the most important asset you can have. If you make friends with the people around you, you’re almost guaranteed to not be knocked over by them in a crowd and trampled. Also, if anyone is to yell at you or threaten to beat you up because you accidentally bumped into them, there’s a chance that your allies might back you up. You need to prepare for the adverse actions of others. Adrenaline is high, money is low, and everyone who has stood in line for hours is certainly tense and nervous that they won’t even get their item which is now seeming like much less of a want and more of a need. So you might get beat up. But if you’re underage you shouldn’t worry. The legal system will take care of that.
    Either way, Black Friday is something that we are all aware of and some of us are crazy enough to pursue. Whether you decide to take part of the ongoing frenzy, the holiday is here to stay and will continue to be one of the most commercially successful holidays with the largest body count.

1 comment:

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